When we look at our public life and think we are worthless or don’t match up, or when others see the person we are in public and treat us as not-good-enough … stop and honestly think for a moment.
What if they ALSO knew your inner thoughts and feelings? If we could record all of your thoughts, daydreams and feelings and project them up on a jumbo-tron for people to gather and watch, would you want to be in the room? No way! None of us would.
Why not? Because as bad as we may feel or look on the outside, let’s be honest, … it gets much darker and uglier on the inside.
So, if I know this is true about me, and someone says (through word, implication, body language or behavior) something negative, insulting or offensive about me, then my response can honestly be, “You don’t even know the half of it!” “You think I’m a jerk? Dude, you should have heard what I WANTED to say!” (Not that I should even be thinking it, but that is just further proof of my point that we don’t measure up to any standard of “good” that we would like to claim for ourselves.)
So I don’t measure up to the standards or expectations of others … or even myself? So what? I DAILY fail and fall short of the standard of the Creator of the universe. Something is very very wrong in me. Something is broken. Something is flawed. I don’t want the things I should want. I don’t do the things I should do.
Have I let you down or offended you? Did I let myself down? Big deal, what’s that compared to God, whom I let down, insult and defame on a regular basis? Despite my efforts to not do so. My Creator made me for a purpose, and I am broken and don’t fulfill that purpose.
Wow, that’s depressing. How does this possibly make me feel good?
I’m glad you asked.
However bad or low someone else makes me feel … or I make myself feel … I know that I deserve far worse and far more ridicule and scorn than I am getting. Especially from God. Because God doesn’t give me what I deserve. Through Jesus Christ He gives me Grace and Mercy and Love and Peace. Not because I earned it or deserve it or have anything to offer Him in return. Simply because He’s God.
And that’s just how He is.
He gives Grace to the humble (James 4:6). But He opposes the proud. Pride is what puffs us up and wants a higher self-image than we deserve.
Someone insults or mocks me or depression wants to take me … “Yeah, I know. You’re right. I’m actually worse than you think (or even I realize), but I’m trying to be better. I’m not there yet, but God’s working with me, and He loves me. … Me! He loves ME! How crazy is that?!”
And knowing that despite it all, that He loves me enough to offer me grace and forgiveness I can find some peace … knowing that while I may be flawed and broken now, one day I will be whole again.